The Miraculous Synagogue in Uppsala

UPPSALA – The Jewish Community of Uppsala has responded with great enthusiasm to the creation of a real synagogue in their city. The synagogue was built at the initiative of the Dutch chairwoman of CIDI ( Centre Information Documentation Israel ), Esther Voet, who, after having heard of several cases of arson in mosques in Sweden, decided that the immediate establishment of a miraculous synagogue in Uppsala was a mission of the highest priority.

Information on this new synagogue in Uppsala is only shared on a need to know basis which clearly explains why it is not listed on the Sweden page of the European Jewish Congress site, “allthough the safety of the new synagogue can always be jeopardized, if someone should add it to Wikipedia or something, or any other media. This must be avoided at all cost”, according to Ester Voet, “that the World Jewish Congress even mentions the mere existence of a Jewish Community in Sweden is dangerous enough.”

The muslim community in Sweden is very excited that their burning mosques are such an inspiration for Esther Voet to establish synagogues in a totally different country. “This shows the goodness of her heart, she doesn’t just care about the Netherlands where she lives but always looks for new ways to build synagogues all over the planet, a great example for us muslims, it’s really magical”, according to an anonymous muslim in Stockholm.

The new synagogue in Uppsala was built in secret and with enormous speed, in fact it was the fastest building of a synagogue recorded in history. One of the characteristic features of the new synagogue is the stealth functionality that makes it virtually impossible to perceive the synagogue with the naked eye. Also all the digital traces of the synagogue have been cleared. Google had to change it’s entire algorithm to achieve this but apparently has been very succesfull in doing so. This makes it virtually impossible for the Jewish Community in Uppsala to visit the synagogue because they can not find it.

“Nevertheless, we are very pleased that it’s now finally there, after all these hundreds of years that we only had seven synagogues throughout Sweden. Esther Voet, huge thank you for all your good work!” says an anonymous source in Uppsala.